Saturday, March 23, 2019 & Sunday, March 24, 2019

DMA (Daily Mood Average) for March 23, 2019: 6

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous, Illumination 92%

My husband and I got into a fight during dinner about DTLA. “I just don’t like it.” “You don’t even know what it’s like right now,” I fumed, thinking, eff you and your ignorance. Later that night, he came into my bedroom but left feeling, in his words, “rejected.” He retreated back into his hard shell, into the corner guest bedroom with its loud fan and complete and utter darkness.

DMA for March 24, 2019: 5

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous, Illumination 85%

Another big fight with husband. I got close to his face and said through gritted teeth, “I want to stab you in the eye so badly right now.” Woah. Somehow this led to him coming clean about his true feelings–that he was saying things more to protect himself from feelings of rejection. “See, I like it when you’re honest and vulnerable. I can feel the anger ebbing from my body,” I said. We went to The Ranch where Frances drove Frank to the brink of madness. She threw my aunt’s garage door opener on the floor. This would be a problem for me the next day when my mom would come and ask for it. I went to bed earlier than usual. I had a splitting headache. Weaning myself from eight shots of espresso a day will do that. Oh, and by weaning myself, I mean going cold turkey.

This weekend was tough. Spending that much time with my kids and husband? And feeling guilty and ashamed about wanting assert individualism and couples only time? No wonder was my DMA was so low!